Area Man Confused By Obscure "Mullis" References

12:15 AM

Area man, CSM Blackwood, has been reported interrogating the port-o-john guards with questions about the Mullis enigma. SPC Clark told reporters, "Yeah, this guy keeps asking me about Mullis: "Who is this Mullis guy, anyways?" "What's with the cock? Why does he love it so much?" "Does he know something I don't know?". I mean, I just don't know. I watch the graffiti, I don't make it." Other sources indicated that CSM Blackwood could be seen pacing back and forth along the many rows of port-o-potties at Camp Duke, frustrated and agitated. Local nationals reported confusion as they were repeatedly approached by the area man and asked, "Where is Mullis?" Although the answers are unclear, the potential for the future looks bright, says Blackwood, "I will find this man, this aberration, and I will verbally counsel him like no other soldier has ever seen."

--New York Times

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